I am Karan from Olympia, WA.
Almost every other name used here is a pseodonym pseudonim pseudonymn alias.
The rest of it is true - mostly - and all of it is my own.
Don't even think about taking any of it, unless of course, you want to pay me.
Random Wisdom: You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life - Albert Camus
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The counter says that 3271928 have been flummelized, but I personally think it's all a big lie.
[ Saturday, July 20, 2002 ]
Remote Controlling
My understanding of a remote control device is that it is intended to “simplify” our lives, save us a few steps or ease some sort of process like setting a VCR. In our home, remote 
controls have been attempting to take over my life.
You must wonder how the heck did this happen?
It was a small thing at first, really more of an irritation, then it grew into the monster that it is today. In the beginning, we had just one remote for the TV....to change the channel, adjust the volume and turn it on and off. Many times, we forgot we had a remote control and just did it the old fashioned way with feet and hands. Sometimes we had to do it manually because the remote slipped into a chair for a couple of days.
Gradually, as we acquired more doo dads, our remote control collection grew as well. One for the VCR, one for the cassette 
deck and one for the second TV upstairs. And, as it was with the first TV, we lost those remote controls for short periods of time.
Eventually we had remotes for the DVD player, the compact disk player, the camcorder, the thermostat, even the fan on the wood stove. If you count the remotes we own that don’t go to anything, we own a total of thirteen, most of them piled in a big basket near the TV reserved exclusively for this Contrivance from Hell.
Contrivance from Hell might seem a little strong, but I think I owe the clock at least a month for the time I’ve wasted looking for each and every one of them. It’s insidious. It’s infuriating and it’s exasperating. At one time or another, every single one of these remotes has disappeared and cost me the time, my precious time, to hunt it down.
And hunt it down I do. Every time.
I found one remote trying to sneak away as a couch hostage on it’s way to a new home. Another time, Rejjie, when just over a year of age, found an early hobby in hording them. I remember enlisting both Leonard and El Jay to find the ever increasing number of missing remotes when I looked at Rejjie, who was still pretty much preverbal, and asked her, “Do you know where the remote controls are?” Then I watched in amazement as she toddled off and collected her stash from under a stack of pillows.
Riso had a similar streak of larceny, but I suspected him early on and found three of the missing contraptions in his kennel, a bit chewed up but still in working order. That was when we bought the official remote control basket.
It is out of control, beyond all logic. I know that I can stand up and turn the channel, which is a misnomer because there is no longer a dial to turn on any of our televisions, never-the-less, I can press the channel up and channel down buttons just fine. It is a matter of pride, an issue of destiny and a search for victory over the inanimate that I seek in a hunt for a remote control. I have spent hours looking for a single remote just so I can have the pleasure of shutting off the power with a poke of one finger.
I am the one in control and I will win!!! Bwahahahahhaahahahhahhaaaaa
Leonard thinks that I’ve lost more than my time......
Today’s Cool Link: Public Domain Images. This is a list of graphic sites that have some of the most beautiful images available. This one is by Russell Lee and was taken in 1903. It comes from the Library of Congress Image Archive Collection. Click it for a larger view.